Humans of MUAC

Martine ‘I’ve-sold-my-soul-to-the-corporate-world’ Botha

Martine, a 1.65cm homo sapien, holds the club record for most photos taken while on a stand-up paddleboard. She’s currently campaigning for a commemorative statue to mark this feat, and hopes, when made, it will be slightly taller than the bust of Emil Zátopek that graces the corner of the hallowed MUAC clubrooms.

I sat down with Martine today after training to ask what inspires her to dream so big.

Nick: What is your favourite running sesh?

Martine: Optus Oval reps. Anything with a big brand name in it is my jam. Optus is amongst the, like, Big Four of telecommunications companies. You know? Optus, Vodafone, Telstra… Okay maybe big three. Optus would obviously be the Mckinsey of the bunch. Anyway, I digress.

N: …

M: Did I mention I work for PWC?

N: Yeah, maybe once or twice… Soooooo, what’s your favourite location for a long run?

M: The Mornington Peninsula from the Esplanade to Mt. Martha. The best part about that area is the wine. Nothing better than a post long-run bev.

N: Do you drive home?

M: No comment.

N: Okay… What’s your go to Clyde order?

M: A chicken quesadilla. [Pauses and eyes glaze over]. With lots of tomato sauce. [Pauses again. Saliva drools out of her mouth, pooling on her chin]. And chips

N: Best running memory?

M: Finishing the Great Ocean Road Half Marathon with Gen Blanche. We finished it together and I did a P.B. After the run we got interviewed because we ran it together and wore our Melbourne University singlets. Twinsies! So pretty much, I’m famous now.

N: As TV famous as Nick Earl?

M: Is he the bald guy that was on The Project?

N: Yes, also known as the inferior Nick… Final question, what’s Martine’s party trick?

M: First one on the dance floor completely sober.

N: *coughs* Martine? Completely sober? *coughs*

M: [Winking] Depends if I’ve hit up the long-run/winery combo first.

N: We’ve still got time so here’s some extra questions. Do you have a running mantra?

M: “Keep in touch”.

N: Pump up song?

M: Karma Chameleon.

N: And your running idol?

M: Virginia Trioli.

N: *Pretends to know who she is*. Of course. Well, Martine, that brings us to the end of the interview. Thanks and see you at the Clyde for cheeky quesadilla and chips.

M: AND TOMATO SAUCE!

Keep your eyes out for Martine around the track, on The Project or at your nearest stand-up paddleboard store. She’s a real delight and did this interview despite having just run a solid 10km.

by Nick Parkinson